What is a good man?

So my girfriends and I have talked about this for ages!! So I decided to blog about this hot topic. Lets first start with What is a good man?
According to Me, Linda Juma, the definition of a good man is a Man who knows himself, knows what he wants in life, confident, respectful, HONEST, LOYAL, etc .and the list goes on. Now there is a fine line between confidence and cockiness.  If all he cares about is how he looks then he is cocky. RUN> Big egos are unattractive and stupid.I can personally tell you I do not like cockiness. And thats where I draw the line. If I ask a dude what do you want in life? and he answers me..OMG He just went from cute to HOT in 5 seconds!! Thats HOT!! I dnt care what you say but this man is focused, he has long term and short term goals and guuurrrrllll am digging that!!
Secondly I love an attractive guy. Now whats cute to me may not be cute to you. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And by attraction I dont mean the Physical..there are alot of elements that define "attractiveness".
I just have to tell my ladies that we have lowered our standards and expectations alot. We live in a society of instant gratification and therefore we tend to fall for  anything that comes our way simply because we want to fit in and we don't want to be the chic who rides solo. BAD MISTAKE. Ok so am going to get a little personal here: I hate opening up but if you read my blog last week about facing my fears I did say am going to start letting go and just opening up. So here I go:

I am 24 and I have made ALOT of mistakes in my past relationships that upto this day I still beat up myself for those mistakes. In one of my relationships, I put up with soooo much. I tolerated the good, the bad, the ugly andI  was "afraid" to just speak my mind fully because I felt like I was going to lose him. Boy was I wrong ?!! It got worse and worse and by the time I finally decided to confront him..it was too late. Prior to this relationship I was in a very unhealthy relationship. Once again I was trying to be the cool "21st century tough chic who doesnt care what a man does to you" WRONG! Even the strongest people do have emotions...I crumbled and yeah it ended. So After receiving so many emails from my female subscibers begging me to blog more about realtionships and asking me for advice I decided to complie a list of helpful tips you can use to ensure you are in a healthy relationship. Its hard for people to believe this but I am no relationship expert..I just handle issues differently than most females.

1. Communication is key. Infact communication is like the bonding glue that binds the love together. If he or you cannot communicate effectively than TRUST ME..you are bound for failure. Take it from me. I am speaking from experience. Learn to acknowledge when you are wrong and appreciate them for who they are.

2. If the focal point of the relationship is sex than he is a jerk. you cant meet me at noon and want to boogie me at 2 pm. Thats BULL. RUN!!! If a man wants to truly know you..he will wait and take time. Ok ladies this is where most chics just take it overborad. Just coz he is waiting doesnt mean he is not getting it anywhere else. Most males cannot go a sex diet. He will wait..YES> coz he respects you and is waiting for when you are ready..thats GREAT!! but honey listen here...since you aint opening up your romping shop..he is buying candy at someone else's kitty. THEN when you do decide that you wanna get in a exclusive realationhip..he might get rid of his "friend with benefits" and just rock your boat or he might keep you both just incase he wants to get a different flavor coz we all know strawberry all the time can be boring so once in a while he might want vanilla...JUST SAYING!

3.Mutual respect is a MUST> America as a society has really bashed men and given too much power to women simply coz for the longest time..men really mistreated their women. But what most people dont realize is some women out there do abuse their men. Yes it happens and if you arguing we can go toe to toe. Some men out there are being beaten and bused but since soceity all thinks only women get battered...this issue gets swept under the rag. Main point here is Respect your man and please guys..TREAT US LIKE QUEENS. I kknow this is a touchy tipic and am not trying to defend men here..am just saying..we should be fair.

4. Watch how he treats his mom and sisters and how he interacts with your friends. Enough said

5. Do not be overly submissive and needy...its a huge turn off to the gents. Be independent...do your thing and let him do is.

6.Ladies: carry yourself in a decent manner.

7.Look for men in the right places. If you met him at the club..goodluck. Look for a good christian man with strong moral values. I gotta tell you though I have a long list of what I look for in a man and actually one of my friends told me that he thinks am looking for Jesus. And I have made a mistake of just forgoing my list and falling in love with men who dont even care about who God is. And it ended BAD!! SO please ladies...get real. and oh please make your expecations real not fantasy.

8. He has to be honest!!! and Trust is a very important element of a relationship.

9.Love yourself first and accept who you are. Men are not meant to make us happy...they are meant to be our companions, and recreate with us..if you are not happy from within then NO MAN will fill that void. Work on yourself first before you go dumping all your insecurities on a man.

10. Mr perfect doesnt exist!!! YOu have to pick and choose what is important to YOU. its all about Compromise!!

ABOVE ALL...PUT GOD FIRST!!!!

I gotta be honest..I could not cover everything in this blog. I could blog all day about relationships. But worry not I will answer all your questions.

P.S..am think of just doing video blogs instead of writting. But thats a whole different story because I need to buy a good camera and yadda yadda... and when I do decide to launch my video blogs I will have guest bloggers with me and it will be fun, fun, fun!!!!!

NOTE: Nxt week is Know your status week. so am urging all people...especially the youth to go out and get tested. Many clinics in the DFW area will be giving out FREE tests,,so pls know your status. You might be the faithful partner but you do not know what he/she is doing behind closed doors. Its funny how when swine flu broke out EVERYONE had a mask but yet no one wants to use a condom....The Irony of life.

Enjoy your weekend, don't drink and drive. Do not have sex without a condom...STDs are real. I truly love you all. Without my readers I would not be here today!! Thank you for those emails. GOD BLESS!!!