Keeping it real

Sometimes I wonder about myself.  I feel like I'm this bold, fearless, strong black woman, but then again a part of me is terrified! I feel like I can handle things on my own but truth is sometimes I do crumble and lose it.  Yes I'm human and no matter how "awesome" or "cool" you find me...at the end of the day I am not perfect and I will not, I repeat, I will not live up to your expectations just to prove a point to you or " keep me in your good books".  This brings me to the whole "keeping it real" slogan that lots of people try to throw around!
I've come to realize that many people are just fake. You ask them something and instead of just giving an honest answer, the will tell you either what you want to hear or they will try to give you the "right" answer. *big sigh*.
 Have you guys ever met people who are just way to positive or just think they are so perfect ? These are the kind of people that walk around just giving out extremely positive vibes, to the point they make you feel "weird" or "lame". For example, I met this random chic at my bank and we started having small talk! She claimed to love my accent  and told me she is originally from New Orleans but moved to Dallas after hurricane Katrina. So this is what I said her: " Katrina was horrible, I'm just glad you are one of the lucky survivors"...EEEHHHHH you are not going to believe what this woman told me...she looked me in the eye and her exact words were : " There is a reason for everything, I Praise God for hurricane Katrina because even though many people lost their lives, farmers were able to get rain for their crops and that sinful city was washed away. The Lord says that anything that is not pure will be destroyed! I believe in the mighty hand of  God..are you saved dear?" I almost passed out!...WHHHHAAAAAT????? Ok hold up! Is that what being positive means? Now that's what I call being flat out ridiculous! I simply said "nice to meet you" and went about with my business.
People...its ok to vent, its ok to be angry, annoyed and fuss about life sometimes! DO not fight your feelings and emotions just because you want to give out this "superhuman" vibe. NO wait it gets better..I love it when people say.."I never worry, When things go wrong, and when  the Devil is trying to take control of the situation, I seek the Lord. I cry  upon Jesus' name and I read the holy Bible. The word of God Is all powerful and all those that worry do not know who Jesus is"....* mouth wide open*....I am not disputing that. I am a strong believer in God and his word but truth is did you just recite all that because that was the right thing to say at the moment? DO you really want to tell me that if things go wrong you NEVER EVER ponder upon it? REALLY? REALLY? Now do not get me wrong..I pray ALOT but even though I "surrender" it all to Christ A part of me still worries about the outcome of things.That's part of human nature. We are born of sin and there are some things are just coded into our DNA and there is nothing we can do about that. Stop fighting who you are, stop trying to be perfect because no one is perfect.
I have said this once and I will say it again..the easiest job on earth is being yourself and If you cannot be YOU, then I don't know what else to tell you!  With that being said here is a list of what I have decided to do this year:
1. Have a better relationship with GOD
2. Stop trying to impress everyone
3. Live up to NO ONE'S Expectations but GOD
4. Do me, and surround myself with nothing but positive people
5.Have faith
6. stand up for what is right and true
7. Have faithand pray for my haters
8. Accept and let go
9.Face myself, open up a lot more
10. Forgive


NAMASTE!!!