Stop chasing after relationships

Happy Friday everyone!!

A friend called me last night night needing advice and after I adviced her on the issue she told me "Oh my gosh! you should totally blog about this."

This girl called me crying saying her boyfriend had dumped her again. This wasn't the first time...This man constantly dumps her every single time they have an argument or a minor disagreement. He always ridicules how she looks, calls her a fat pig, ugly...all sorts of insults. Oh the most absurd part is he 'punishes' and  physically abuses her. I found the punishment part quite amusing (not in a hahahaha kind of way) because I never knew boyfriends were appointed to play the father role as well.  Anyways, I let her speak and pour her heart out for like a good one hour and I finally asked her "ok so what advice do you need?" Her answer was " I need you to tell me how to get him back. I love him so much I cannot afford to lose him". My jaw literally dropped. I was like this is BANANAS!!! This man is the worst, most draconian person possible; I wouldn't even let him babysit my little sister's doll. If he was a website, he would be a waste of skin and brain.com.

So I told her listen; growing up, I was constantly told " Linda, you are special and there is no one out there like you." My grandparents instilled this sense of confidence in me and told me you should love yourself first because there is no way on earth you can give or receive love if you don't grasp the concept of self worth and appreciation. I told her to let go. He is not even worth all the pain. This guy doesnt even deserve a blow up doll.  He clearly has no ounce of love for you. What you're basically doing is saying here, I know you could care less about me but I still want to be with you anyway. That's like getting fired but still showing up to work faithfully, yet you not getting paid. Move on, it won't be easy but it will save you from a whole lot of emotional turmoil.

Quick side note to my lovely ladies : There's no delicate way to put this so I will just blurt it out : Staying in an abusive relationship doesn't even come close to unconditional love; ITS STUPID! When a guy has clearly indicated he doesn't want you, doesn't respect you as a person, and constantly assasinates your self-esteem....RUN. NO actually scratch that, don't run, SPRINT! You have to say to yourself, I deserve the best and I am special. And I am not telling you to be embrace this b*tchy egostistcal , kanye west megalomaniac attitude; all I'm saying is have this quiet, humble self confidence and set boundaries. Know when to make it work, and when to call it quits. My policy is abuse has no room in my world. And there should be no gender discrimination when it comes to abuse; whether is verbal, emotional or physical. NO man or woman should be abused. THE END.

Relationships are NEVER a walk in in the park, but they are only worth the effort and fight if you are with the right partner. Obama and Michelle were not built in a day.

Have a blessed weekend earthlings!!

Peace, love, joy.

NAMASTE.