The War Between Men and Women

The battle between men and women has been going on for thousands of years. There's a lot of blaming, shaming and hatred between males and females. Everything is so polarized to the point most men and women seem unable to tolerate the paradoxical idea that they can have differing, but equally valid, perspectives on many issues. In their wake, however, instead of a productive social dialogue that enhances understanding between the sexes; more resentment seems to have grown. What I've noticed though, is most of the arguments are about gender roles. " A woman is supposed to......" and "A man is a supposed to.....". The irony of it all is most people don't realize that gender roles are social constructs and are NOT biological. I blame patriarchy for this mess. I am very anti-patriarchal. The sad part is some men and women don't even know what patriarchy is or even if they do, they don't understand it's repercussions because they've been conditioned that patriarchy is normal. Let it marinate before you continue reading.

Here's the deal; the blame game between males and females needs to stop. We will not get anywhere with this. There is a reason that both sexes were created. It doesn't help men when they call women bitches, whores and sluts. If calling women these degrading names was good for them, then guess what? Women would be up there in this social hierarchy. It doesn't help women when they call men dogs, and stupid. How does that even bring about change? We are a culture of compartmentalization; we believe it's ok to call a woman a whore, yet we came from a woman. Most men have this notion that women play a lesser role and they are the weaker sex. And of course patriarchal social constructs instill in us that men are stronger and superior to women. As a result, you have the dominator and the submissive person.

Truth is, both men and women are obsolete without each other. I don't mean this is a romantic manner. I mean in order for society to thrive in a healthy manner, we need communion with each other. If someone asked you what is more important; a plug or a socket, what would you answer? You need both for you to generate energy. How is it that the "weaker" sex was given the duty of child bearing? (One of the most painful events in humanity). What man do you know, has the power to endure 3-7 days of profuse bleeding? Or breast feeding? Women are not "weaker" or "lesser" than men. Women are just different people. When people use "strength" to differentiate males from the opposite sex, they use it in a very biased matrix and context.

What we all need to understand is that both sexes are strong in their own unique way. Just because you as a man, you have testosterone that helps you grow bigger muscles hence giving you the comparative advantage of being physically stronger, doesn't mean women are weaklings. It takes a different and special type of strength to carry a growing human in your body for 9 months, then through pain and turmoil give birth and then go ahead and sustain this child OUTSIDE of your body. It takes a special type of strength to live in a society where you're constantly told you are lesser than. In fact, from a very early age, little girls are taught "how to be a good woman". They are not told they deserve love. No,no.no, They have to EARN IT from men. The Males have to approve us. That's why women have to live up to certain "standards" otherwise they are threatened they will never find a man. While men, on the other hand can do anything and everything and they will still find a wife. See how patriarchy does us?

I just want to emphasize that we are all very important. Men are important. I love and appreciate men. It’s all about teamwork. Women might have given birth to the kids, but guess what? The men inserted those seeds in them and they fertilized it, and carried it. So how can women say “we are more important than men because we give birth"? And why do men feel like they are more important than women that they should dominate over them? People have taken the whole " A man is the head of household" statement and translated it to mean " Well since I'm the man, and I'm the head, I'm boss. You have no rights as a woman, you do what I say." Why are we spending our time trying to rule one another and prove our importance? It takes so much energy ruling yourself, so why would you even think of ruling another person?

No love can come out of dominance and submissiveness. Love doesn't exist in the boundaries of obligation. That's the biggest lie patriarchy has used for ages. Yes, your grandparents might have been married for 80 years but I'll guarantee you that if you talk to your Grandmother(if she's still living) she will tell you she found happiness in her kids, in sewing and knitting But it was never her overly dominating husband. You know what will truly help us? A change of mind and shift in the way we perceive the world. Men and women should be in a partnership with each other. Women should love and take care of their men, and men should do the same for the women in their lives. In a partnership, both sexes are uniquely different but on an equal platform. No one is above the other. If we all don't get it together, then this poisonous cycle will never end. Think about the things you do and say about the opposite sex, and how that affects you and those around you. It's time to change if you haven't yet.